Ranma 1/2 - The Missing Stories
by PepsiBeth
Summary: Stories that Rumiko didn't put in the series for some reason - perhaps because she didn't write them
1. Prologue

News bulletin:

While demolishing a building in which Rumiko Takahashi, author of Ranma ½, used to reside, construction workers came across a small iron safebox hidden in the walls.  When opened, they found various unpublished transcripts of what appear to be unknown Ranma stories.  Ms. Takahashi has been unavailable for comment, and her agent is remaining mum on the possibility of more Ranma for the adoring public.  

After a long and perilous journey, I have managed to track down these missing stories, and make them available to you, the public, for your reading pleasure.  Although I now am unable to travel to Japan for safety reasons – main one being I wouldn't be safe from the local authorities there, I am still more than happy to release these to the lucky people on Fanfiction.net as well as the Google group rec.arts.anime.creative.

I hope you all enjoy them as much as I did.  And keep on the alert for any other lost masterpieces by Rumiko Takahashi – you never know where they might pop up!

*Although I am sure this is obvious, I feel I must make the following statement, so that I cover any legalese.  The above news bulletin is fiction.  Any "Missing Stories" are actually Ranma fanfiction created by myself, PepsiBeth.  I do not own Ranma, nor do I profess to be Rumiko Takahashi.  These are stories by a fan for the fans, with no profit.  This is not a continuing series, but rather a series of individual shorts, taken from ideas that I thought would have made good episodes in the anime, or stories in the manga.  Thank you.


	2. Story One

Well, here goes another attempt at writing.  This time, it's not really a series, just a bunch of what you could call chapters in the Ranma ½ universe.  Basically just some short stories that I thought would have fit into the general storyline.  Hence the name.  Hope you like them!

Disclaimer:  I am not Rumiko Takahashi, I do not own any of her characters, although my own wedding to Ranma will take place soon.  Really.  And you're all invited, of course.

Confused Couples!  The Pen of "True" Fiction!

Kasumi sat at her small desk in her neatly arranged room.  She opened a drawer and pulled out a book.  Opening it, she leafed through the pages, glancing occasionally at the words written within.  She smiled as she came across various passages that she particularly liked.  Finally she came to a blank page.

"Oh my.  It's been so long since I've written anything.  I think it's time I wrote something new.  I so enjoy writing a good story.  Maybe one day I'll get the courage to show someone my favorite hobby.  Oh, really, I doubt it – I'm sure they're not as good as they seemed to be when I wrote them.  No one would be interested in reading my little flights of fantasy.  Now then.  A pen… Oh my.  My favorite one is out of ink!  Hmm, I think… maybe I have one here somewhere…. Yes, there it is – that one I bought a few months ago from that elderly man in the market.  What a charming old man he was, so determined to make a sale.  But I'm sure I got the better bargain – he really could have sold a pen of this caliber for much more than he did."

Kasumi pulled the pen out of it's box and looked at it.  It was a beautiful shape, almost like a delicate feather.  It was the shape of the pen that had caught her eye.  She had never seen anything like it before.  And the color was so unusual, a virtual myriad of hues, seeming to almost change before her eyes.  She took a look at the box, to see if she could find out what company made the pen, so that perhaps she could buy more.

"War Ning?  What an unusual name for a town.  I don't think I've ever heard of it before.  I wonder what region it is in.  Perhaps I shall get Nabiki to look it up on her computer for me later.  Hmm.  Such an interesting phrase on here – I wonder what it could mean?  Don otu seun les syo uwan toch an get hepre sent.  Tee hee – It probably means Happy Writing, or something along those lines.  Oh well, I guess there's no company listed.  Perhaps it's a custom made one.  I'm sure it'll write well, just looking at it makes me feel inspired!  Now, what to write about..."

Kasumi tapped the pen lightly on her nose and smiled.  She had an idea.  Putting the nib to the top line on the empty page, she wrote in the title.

Wouldn't It Be Funny If... By Kasumi Tendo

She started writing feverishly, as if she couldn't get the words onto paper fast enough.

Nerima glowed faintly with a light sheen for a split second, and as fast as it came, the aura vanished.  In the marketplace, an old man laughed.

Downstairs

"Wow!  There must be a thunderstorm coming – did you see that power surge, Akane?  Glad I'm inside already – don't really feel like being a girl tonight.  So, what time is everyone coming over?  I can't believe I'm actually looking forward to an evening with everyone, but we've somehow been getting along better with everyone lately."

"Yeah, Ranma, except for when Shampoo tried to sneak into your room, and when Ryoga challenged you to yet another fight, and Kodachi tried her new gymnastics technique on me, and..."

"Hehe.  Oh yeah, right, it has been a pretty boring week, hasn't it.  Well, we got them to all sign the paper, right?  The one where we all agree to a night of no fighting, no glomping, no whatever, just a friendly get together?"

"You know we did, Baka!  You were there when I put it together, and you came along when I got everyone's signature.  In fact, the only one's left to sign are you and me!  So, I'll sign it – There we go – now it's your turn, Ranma."

Ranma signed the paper.  As he finished scrawling his name, the doorbell rang.  As Kasumi was already upstairs for the evening, Akane went to answer it.

"Aiyah!  Shampoo ready for too too fun night of... umm, what we do tonight?"

"Hi Shampoo, I'm glad you could make it.  I don't know what we'll do tonight yet.  I've got all of the family's board games out, plus a couple decks of cards.  I just thought we could play it by ear at first, see what everyone wants to do."

Right behind Shampoo was Ukyo.  She smiled at Akane.

"Sounds good, sugar.  I brought along my grill in case anyone gets hungry.  It's always good to be prepared for a case of the munchies!"

Ranma started to salivate at the thought of one of Ukyo's prize okonomiyaki.  Case of the munchies?  He was all over it!

Akane led the two girls into the room she had readied for the get together.  Ranma stayed by the door, as the other guests would be arriving shortly.  As expected, there was a knock on the door.  Opening it, he found the Kuno siblings on the other side.  Looking at them warily, he invited them in.

"Ah, to be blessed enough to enter the residence of the fair Akane Tendo!  My heart can almost not withstand the sheer joy running through the blood in my veins!  What sweet music is the trill of her voice, like butterflies dancing through the sunlight."

"Hey, Kuno!  Don't forget what you signed, so just give it up already, okay?  None of that blither blather talk, alright?  I don't want to have to fight you tonight."

"Ohohohoho... Ranma, darling, that is the speech that my dear brother always uses.  For him to speak any other way would be a sign that something was wrong.  As for me, my own heart rejoices at being here, in the place where one of your manliness dwells.  However, I shall control my passion for you, for tonight only.  You must try to do the same – I know it shall be as difficult for you to restrain yourself from such beauty as me, but we shall persevere."

Ranma looked at the two of them and just rolled his eyes.  Figured that they were just as loony when they weren't trying to maim or marry him.  He brought them to the recreation room.

"Hey, Akane!  Your turn to get the door"  *Ding Dong***  **"See?  Told ya!"

Throwing an exasperated look Ranma's way, Akane went to the entrance hall.  The final two guests had arrived.  Mousse and Ryoga came inside and removed their outer footwear, accepting the house sandals that Akane offered them.

"Ryoga!  I'm so glad to see that you were able to find your way here, and on time too!  You didn't get lost?"

Ryoga blushed and scratched the back of his head, a bashful smile just wide enough to show his fangs on his face.

"Well, actually.... I left to get here as soon as I heard about tonight."

"But... I started planning this 3 weeks ago, Ryoga..."

Mousse looked at Akane and shook his head.

"I found him wandering outside the Nekohanten, totally lost Akane.  If I hadn't have found him, I'm sure he'd be halfway to Timbuctoo by now.  Is Shampoo here yet?  Are she and Ranma..."

"Mousse, you know the deal – we all agreed to it.  Nothing like that is going to happen tonight.  Everything will be perfect!  You'll see!  We're all mature enough to be able to be sensible for one evening, I'm sure.  And yes, Shampoo is here – you guys are the last one's we were waiting for.  So, if you'll head over to this room, let's get this party started!"

The group of teenagers sat in the rec room, looking around at each other.  Old suspicions and tensions were obvious, by the stiff, ultra prepared stance everyone had assumed.  They were ready at a moments notice to jump into a fight.  No one knew quite the right way to break the silence, until Nabiki, wandering by the room, popped her head through the doorway.

"Wow.  I've seen better parties at a wake.  Come on guys, loosen up, have a good time, talk, mingle, be cheery.  That's my advice, anyways.  That'll be 3000 yen each.  You can pay at the door when you leave."

Everyone cracked up simultaneously at Nabiki's usual attempt to con them out of money.  Somehow the laughter worked.  The tension in the air relaxed, and the gang found themselves able to talk.  Without the constant battles looming, they actually found that all of them had a lot in common.  They were all dedicated martial artists, willing to go to the limits.  Akane and Ranma smiled.  This was what they had been hoping for, to get everyone together like this, as a possible group of friends.

Upstairs, in Kasumi's room

Kasumi looked down at what she had written so far.  It was a different kind of story than she had ever done before, a comedy romance, rather than a soft fantasy romance with faeries and knights, like most of her fiction was.

"Well, I think it's time to add some romance into it.  Something different, I think, to suit the mood of the story.  Let's see.... Oh my... That would be unusual, wouldn't it."

Once again, Kasumi started writing as possessed, with a humorous smile on her lips.

Downstairs

Around a table, the group was playing a game of poker.  Although there had been some suggestions to make it strip poker, those had quickly been squashed by Akane, who had threatened to make the snacks for everyone.  The usual glances by various members were being discretely thrown.  Kuno was looking covertly at Akane, Shampoo, Ukyo and Kodachi would occasionally look over in Ranma's direction, hoping against hope that he would look at them, Ryoga gazed bashfully at Akane, and Mousse of course was darting eyes at Shampoo.  Of course, with all these looks being thrown around, not one met the eyes of the person it was intended for.  Akane and Ranma just looked at their cards, concentrating on winning.  Suddenly, unnoticed by everyone, a light shudder ran through the gang.

Shampoo, sitting next to Kuno, found herself strangely compelled to move fractionally closer to him.  For some reason, it didn't even seem odd to her to approach another man besides Ranma.  Kuno, noticing this, felt a tremor run through his body.  He had never noticed this beautiful warrior in this kind of light before.  He didn't move away, instead he let his hand casually brush against her side as he put a card on the table.  A little smile appeared on both of their faces, and a sigh escaped their lips.

Ryoga suddenly realized that he had been staring at Akane.  Now why would he want to do that, when Kodachi, such a magnificent bloom of femininity was much worthier of his attentions.  He reached out beside him, and caressed her hand lightly.  Kodachi responded by wrapping her fingers around it, and leaning her head on his shoulder.

Ukyo, sitting next to Mousse, suddenly leaned over and whispered in his ear that her absolute favorite animal were ducks.  He blushed profoundly, and placed his arm around her shoulder.

The air in the room seemed to get hotter for the newly found couples.  Slowly, they grew bolder with their looks at each other, and with their touches. Pretty soon, the pairs were holding hands, sitting on each other's laps, leaning over for kisses, and whispering sweet nothings into their loved one's ears.

Akane and Ranma sat oblivious to all this, concentrating still on their cards.

"Okay, lay 'em on the table guys!  Read 'em and weep!  I'm gonna win this round again!  I've got a full house – what you got, Akane?"

"Oh, darn.  I've only got 2 pair.  Oh well, I'll get you next time, for sure!  So can anyone beat Ranma?"

Ranma and Akane finally looked up, and dropped their cards in surprise.  What on earth....?  It seemed their casual little get together had turned into a makeout party, with the strangest pairings in history.

"Ranma?  Do you think Kodachi spiked the drinks?"

"No way.  We had the same in our glasses, and besides, I had Nabiki frisk her for contraband when she came in.  Umm, guys?  Care to fill us in on what's happening?"

The other people in the room barely spared them a glance before going back to locking lips with the person they were sitting with.  Suddenly, the room seemed much smaller than before.

"Um, Ranma, would you mind if Kodachi and I went into the dojo for a bit of privacy?  We'd like to have a "conversation" by ourselves."

"Ohohoho... Yes, that's it, a "conversation", my love.  What an appropriate way to describe our words of love that we shall show both in words and expressions."

Ranma did a face fault and stared at the two with a wild look in his eyes.

"You, you feeling okay, Ryoga?  This is Kodachi, you know, Pig Boy."

Akane was dealing with keeping Shampoo and Kuno from sneaking upstairs.  Meanwhile, Mousse and Ukyo had wandered off to the corner where they hoped that there would be no interuptions.  Little giggles and soft moans could be heard from them as they became bolder with each other.

"Hey, Akane, I don't know what is goin' on here, but it's getting a little weird for me.  Aack!  Shampoo!  Stop undoing Kuno's clothes, and Kuno, I didn't really want to see you kiss Shampoo like that – I'll have nightmares for a week!"

"Tell me about it Ranma!  I'm getting seriously creeped out here.  Kodachi, I don't think you should wrap a gymnastics ribbon around you two like that, you could get hurt... Oh.  Oh!  Wow.  I had no idea you could use a club so erotically..."

Akane blushed fiercely and looked at the ceiling.  Ranma was doing no better.  He didn't know where to look – everywhere he glanced, there seemed to be limbs entwined, or lips melded together.  He sidled up to Akane, and motioned towards the door.  She nodded, and they ran.

On the other side of the door, after shutting it securely, they looked at each other with shock, and then burst out laughing.  

"Ho...holy cow!  What was that!?  I don't think I'll ever be able to go into that room again without feeling a bit like a peeping Tom!  I knew that those girls were passionate, from some of the things they've tried with me, but to see Ryoga and Mousse in that light was just frightening."

"I know, Ranma.  And Kuno's always been all talk, no action, but he's certainly active now...  We've got to figure out what's going on here, or we're going to have to sterilize that room tomorrow, if we can ever get all of them unwrapped from each other."

The two martial artists could hear clothing being shed in the room behind them, plus some sounds that they wished they hadn't.

"Well, I guess this is one way of the fiancee problem being solved..."

"Ranma!  Although that's true, we've got to get this fixed – this has to be some sort of spell or something, and that's no way for a relationship to happen!  Plus, do you really want to have a room full of perverts here for the rest of the night?  Cause I'm not going in there to get them out of here."

Kasumi's room

"Hmm, the pen ran out of ink!  I guess that's why it was so inexpensive.  It doesn't look like it's refillable either.  Too bad, I've never written so fast before, and if I get a new pen, I'll lose my train of thought.  Well, let's read through what I have here."

Kasumi read through the story, her eyes getting wider and wider, as the words she had written sunk into her head.

"Oh my.  Oh my.  OH MY!!  What was I thinking!  I've never written anything like this before.  I can't keep this, I'm blushing just reading it.  Tee hee.  If anyone found this and read it, they'd think I was a deviant or something.  Oh my."

Kasumi carefully ripped the pages out of her book and neatly tore them into pieces and dropped them into her wastebasket, along with the empty pen.

Downstairs

There was a sudden silence in the room that Akane and Ranma had left.  The two looked at each other, looked at the door, took a deep breath and opened it.

The three couples in the room were frozen in a state of shock.  Slowly they peeled themselves apart, and then, frantically, got their clothes back into the proper places.  No one made eye contact with anyone else, especially with the person they had been wrapped up with.  Silently, they headed individually for the door.  Ranma and Akane stood aside and let them leave the room.

At the front door, everyone put on their outerwear shoes and made ready to go.  Akane didn't quite know what to say to their departing guests.  She didn't think they'd appreciate her asking if they had had a nice time.  She decided it was best just to keep her mouth shut.

"Akane?  Shampoo no come to "friend" party anymore, okay?  Shampoo too too embarassed right now – kick bokken boy to America tomorrow."

"I second that motion, Ranma honey.  I don't think our group works well as friends.  Too many things go wrong when we get together – not that anyone got together!!  Aah.  I'm gonna go work at the restaurant for a bit.  Clear my head.  Maybe make a new flavor of okonomiyaki – Duck sounds about right."

"Shampoo!  Wait for me!  I'm still loyal to you and you only!  I'm sure it was just that Ranma, trying to deviate me from being with you!"

"Curse you, Ranma Saotome!  I'm sure you had a hand in this, trying to make me look like a pervert in front of Akane!  Akane, please forgive my presence in your home as it was tonight."

The Kuno siblings simply filed out in silence – their already warped brains had had an overload of bizarreness, and their tongues were momentarily stilled.  Although thinking about what their tongues had been doing was causing their eyes to twirl.

As the door shut on the last of the guests, Ranma and Akane looked at each other and sighed.

"It's never just a normal night with us, is it Ranma?"

"You can say that again!  Well, at least things are back to what we consider normal, anyways."

"Well, we'd better go and see how much damage was done to the rec room.  I don't think I'd want Kasumi to see it, and Nabiki would just take pictures and tell everyone that it was caused by us or something."

They grabbed a mop, bucket and bleach and set out for some serious cleaning.

Upstairs

Nabiki was getting the garbage from everyone's room, as there was a pickup tomorrow.  Seeing the pen and the case in Kasumi's bin, she picked it up.  She looked at the label and started to laugh.

"Wow!  Thank goodness this is in the garbage – this could have been dangerous if it was used by someone who didn't know what it was.  They really should put labels like this in several languages, not just english – "Warning  Do not use unless you want to change the present"?  Hmm, too bad the pen's out of ink – I could have used this to make money some how, I'm sure."

After going downstairs, she tossed it into the garbage can in the backyard, and went back into the house.  The garbage can glowed faintly, briefly.

The quick glow caught the eye of Happosai, back from a panty raid.  He came over and looked into the can.

"Ah ha!  What's this?  Hey, someone threw out a perfectly good pen!  And it still has ink.  Such a beautiful work of art.  I will be able to write such beautiful love letters to my memories of Cologne as a young woman with this.  All the things I couldn't say than, that I now pour onto paper, never to be seen by anyone but me."

In the market place, the old man laughed again.

Well, there it is.  What'd you guys think?  Please read and review!  I've already got the next few "missing stories" in my head, and just need to get them onto paper, so stay tuned....


	3. Story Two

Yay!  Second Chapter!  Well, like I said before, this isn't a continuing series, but a bunch of shorts, so this isn't a continuation of the 1st chapter or anything like that.  Thanks for the reviews everyone - it's your responses that make me want to continue writing.  Hard to believe I've only been writing fanfics for only a few months - I should have started doing this ages ago - I have so much fun with it :)  Well, enough about me.... On with the story!

Disclaimer:  Rumiko Takahashi is the wonderful creator of the Ranmaverse, not me.  I wonder if I could persuade her to loan me Ryoga for a weekend... something about those fangs....

________________________________________________________________

Taking Things A Byte Too Far.  The Tendo's Get A Computer!

Soun Tendo came home carrying a large box.  After getting over the initial shock of actually seeing him doing something resembling manual labor/work, they watched as he opened the package.

"Hey cool, Mr. Tendo!  A computer!  Finally gettin' out of the dark ages, huh?"

"Ranma!  Dad finally caved in alright - I think he finally got tired of me asking all the time for one, since someone - a sister I won't name - wouldn't share hers..."

"Akane.  I told you I'd share, you'd just have to pay a slight user fee, that's all.  A girl's got to make a living somehow."

After watching Soun fail several times at getting the computer hooked together, Nabiki took over.  After about 2 minutes, the computer was up and running.  All of the members of the household gathered around the screen to watch it start up.

"Windows?  We already have windows - why do we need more?"

"Daddy.  That's the name of the OS."

"OS?  Oh my.  I'm already lost.  I'm afraid all this technology is beyond me.  I'll be in the kitchen if anyone needs me."

"Kasumi, aren't you going to try it out?  It'll be fun!"

"No, I don't think so Akane.  I really have no interest in that kind of thing.  I guess I'm just an old fashioned girl."

Kasumi walked off to the kitchen to begin preparing the evening meal.  Not that anyone noticed, as they were already entranced by the hypnotic lure of the computer.  Everyone with the exception of Nabiki clamored to be the first to try out the new gadget, with Genma being quickly taken out of the running, as Ranma poured a glass of cold water over his head.  After all, a panda's paws weren't exactly suited to typing on a keyboard.  He countered by pouring water on Ranma.

"Nyah, old man!  Like that's gonna do anything!  A girl can use the computer just as well as a guy.  No wait, I take that back.  A computer is naturally a guy's environment, so stand back Akane, and let a natural go first."

"Ranma, you sexist baka!  A natural?  Give me a break!  You couldn't even program the VCR, let alone your alarm clock.  I had to do both of those for you, and as I recall, I didn't have any problems..."

"Whatever, Akane.  Fine, go first.  But don't come crying to me when you get a walrus."

"....  That's Virus, Ranma." 

"Yeah, well... I was just testing ya, that's all.  Now remember, you can't clobber this like you do everything else."

"Grrr, Ranma, grow up.  I know it's only a machine.  Like I'd want to mallet it when I've got you around for that, anyways.  So take the hint, and let me try it out!"

Akane sat down in front of the computer - she had used one before at school, but that was only for typing - she had never had a chance to go on the internet before.  She started the internet browser up, and found a search engine that she had heard people mention at school.  She sat there for a bit, wondering what to look up.  Of course, it was a bit hard to concentrate, what with Ranma looming right over her shoulder.

"Ranma!  Do you mind?  Can I have a bit of privacy?"

"Privacy?  On the Internet?  Haha, Akane, and you call me a pervert!  Whatcha wanna look at, huh?  There's gotta be some site out there for uncute tomboys..."

KERPOW!!

Akane dusted off her mallet before making it disappear.  Really, Ranma could be such a jerk sometimes.  Okay, now that he was out of commission for a bit, she could finally relax.  So... what to type, what to type.  Finally she thought she might try to find a Martial Arts based message board – she'd enjoy talking to other people about it, without getting condescended to like she did by Ranma.

At the search box, she typed in "Anything Goes Message Board" and hit the enter key.  The first match that came up was a link for a board with that exact name.

"Huh!  Not too shabby for my first attempt!  This internet surfing thing is pretty easy.  Okay, so now I just click on this match, and it'll bring me to the message board.  Alright, it's loading up – not bad speed – I'm glad Dad decided on a Cable Modem rather than 56k.  I've heard Gosunkugi complaining about 56k lots, so it must be bad.  Urk!!"

The page had finished loading, but the message board wasn't exactly what Akane had expected.  Rather than an Anything Goes Martial Arts board, she had really gotten an ANYTHING Goes board.  Some of the posts on there were extremely extreme, and a few of the ones she glimpsed she didn't think were physically possible.

"Back button!  Back button!  Oh, Kami, where's the back button!  Gah!  Phew!  That was the most disgusting perverted thing I've ever seen!  I can't believe people post stuff like that!  Note to self – be really specific when searching for something.  Ewww."

Akane typed her search again, this time making sure to add the Martial Arts part of it.  She wasn't sure what to expect for results, as the school didn't have an overly large following outside of Nerima.   But to her pleasant surprise, there was a message board dedicated to Anything Goes Martial Arts.

"Now, to register so that I can post.  Okay, need to pick a nickname.  Don't want to use my real name, after all, who knows what kind of people are on here.  Better to be safe.  Let's see... I know!  I'll go by Scarlet!  I've always liked that name, not really sure why."

After registering, Akane started reading some of the various posts.  She wasn't looking for anything in particular, maybe just someone who had the same desire to learn as she did, or someone willing to teach her some new techniques.  It wasn't anything she had ever been able to say outloud, but her dream was to become good enough at the art so that she would be able to stand up to the various people that somehow seemed to crop up ever since Ranma had arrived in Nerima.  She had become so used to being the "best" that it was hard for her to accept that she no longer was even a close second.

There weren't too many members signed up to this board, but Akane didn't mind, that way she figured she would be able to get to know them better than if there were hundreds.  She noticed that like her, the other people posting were using pen names as well.  She decided to read through all the posts before she either replied or made a new topic.  After all, she had heard the computer club at school laughing hysterically over people that were new to the internet.  Calling them boobs or something along those lines, she wasn't exactly sure.

Reading quickly through the posts, she noticed that there were a handful of regular members, that had made most of the posts.  Remarkably, they seemed to have similar lives to Akane, something happening to them all the time.  Of course, they all seemed to be able to defend themselves, judging from what they said in their posts.  This was what she wanted!  Maybe one or more of these people would show her a new technique, or at least allow her to train with them.

She re-read a topic that had caught her eye the first time she had went through the board.

Topic Starter: Pantene

Posts to date: 83

Replies to topic: 2

Please again excuse bad language.  Me have tried Babelfish, but too too mess up what mean to say.  So Pantene say in so many words what she mean.

Pantene miss catch husband again!  Too too good technique of glomping no work on him.  Husband no notice Pantene's dress or new hair to please him.  Stupid girl ruin date again!  Need help to get girl out of way, so Pantene can impress husband like she know he wants.  Have tried everything can think of – going to bedroom *blush*, "mistake" bump into on bike, cook yummy ramen noodles, it all have no effect.  Pantene getting very frustrated here.  So turn to friends on computer to help.  Suggest you anything to try?  Pantene be too too happy if friends can help.

            Reply from: Bandanna Boy

Pantene, I know what you mean.  I have the exact same problem.  There is a girl that I love, but because of her fiance, curse his name, it seems that I never get a chance to tell her how I feel.  Any time that we are alone, I am either too shy to say anything, or I cannot speak at the moment.  I know she has feelings for me, although they are not the feelings I want.  She only thinks of me as a companion.  Even though she tells me her innermost secrets, she does not know it is me, who so wants her love, that she tells them to.  How it hurts me to hear what pain her betrothed has caused her.  Every time I try to teach him a lesson though, my rage gets the better of me and I lose control.  Even when I had a sure fire technique, he somehow managed to use it against me.  And to top it off, he never misses a chance to insult me in front of her!  Plus there is the fact of my mortifying secret.  If it was ever unveiled to her, I would never be able to look her in the face again.  She'd hate me, I'm sure. 

I'm sorry that this post doesn't really offer you any suggestions, Pantene, I just wanted to let you know that you are not the only one having a hard time with love and the one you are destined to be with.

            Reply from: Canard

I too know the sorrow of unrequited love, Pantene and Bandanna.  I have loved a girl from my hometown since we were both babes, crawling around our village.  But she does not think that I am worthy of her.  Ever since she found this miscreant, she thinks that he must be her husband.  I know that he is only out for one thing, what with all the girls he strings along!  I have tried time and time again to prove myself worthy of her love, but this interfering "husband" of hers constantly gets in the way and destroys my well laid plans.  I know they would succeed if he would just leave her along.  

I am sure that if we put our ideas together we can come up with a solution for our love problems.  We all know that we are the perfect people for our loves to be with, it is just a question of how to go about getting them to see it.  I will think hard on any plans, can you two do the same?  Post here with any plans.

Akane leaned back in her chair.  She really felt for these poor people.  They needed some advice and she knew she'd be able to help them out.  Even if she was no longer number one in martial arts in Nerima, she knew she was still the advice queen.  After all, at school, every one of her friends came to her for advice.  And it was always good advice, she was sure of it!  Honestly, the stunned looks that her friends gave her after she had told them what they should do said it all.  Thinking hard, she began to compose a reply to the post.

            Reply from: Scarlet

Well, I'm new to this board, this is my first post, but there was something about this topic that really made me want to help you guys out.  Just from reading those short things you talked about, I can tell that you truely deserve the happiness you want with the person you are in love with.  I think that they'd have to be blind or total bakas to not realize what great people they have in you!  So, I'll try to help each of you with a few suggestions.

Pantene – I think what you need to do is just come out and tell your husband to stop fooling around with this other girl.  It's immoral and disgusting.  Also, you should approach this chick that's obviously ensnared your man with her claws, and teach her a lesson or two in manners.  I'm not condoning violence, of course, but a few bitch slaps are always helpful. ;)  Do you have any close family members that you can enlist to help you in any way?  Persistence is definitely the key here.  The more you pound it into the guys head, the sooner he'll realize that you are the perfect wife for him.

Canard – Let's see...  What you need to do is along the same lines.  Remind the girl of your history together.  Follow her around, do the same things she does, make sure she notices that you share the same interests.  Basically, make yourself so available to her presence that she can't help but notice you.  That'll be the way to her heart, by overwhelming her.  As for this guy, make sure she doesn't have any chances to meet up with him by herself.  Always be by her side.  If you happen to meet up with him, use every bit of your skill to beat him down.  If necessary, use slightly "bad" tactics, like ruses to get him out of the way – you know, set up a false date with him and your love, without her knowing about it – that way when he shows up and she doesn't, perhaps he'll lose interest.

And finally, Bandanna Boy – You poor guy.  Any girl would love to be with you, from what I can see.  If this girl is telling you her thoughts, then I guarantee that she loves you back.  No girl tells a guy anything deep unless she wants to be with him.  Let her know how you feel.  You say you're too shy?  Well, she's probably just as shy – I'm sure she knows how you feel, but doesn't know herself how to let her feelings out in the open.  If her fiance is a jerk like you say, she probably wants to get rid of him, but maybe feels a kind of honor holding her to the engagement.  What you need to do is display how he is a jerk – anything bad you know on him – tell her!  She will only thank you for it.  As for this deep dark secret, well nothing can be that bad.  If she loves you like I'm sure she does, she will only be happy that you were able to confide in her.  No problem is too large for love to conquer.

It's funny – I came here looking for advice on Martial Arts techniques, but felt very drawn to helping you.  Hopefully if my advice works out for any of you, you might be willing to help me learn some new tricks.  Best of luck to all of you, and be sure to post if any of this was helpful, as I'm sure it will be.  Wow, did this ever turn out to be a long first post!  Hope you don't mind that I put in my two cents. :) 

Akane shut down the computer and smiled.  She always enjoyed helping other people out with problems of the heart.  She knew all about troubled relationships, what with being engaged to a perverted baka and all.  Looking at the clock, she noticed it was just about dinner time.  As if on cue, Kasumi called out that it was served.  Akane got up from the computer chair and headed to the dining room.  She'd check back at the message board tomorrow to see if there were any replies.

"So, Akane, you done with the computer for the evening?  Can I have a chance now?"

"Go ahead, Ranma.  I'm done for the night.  Managed to even do a good deed for some people while I was online.  So, can you try not to break the computer while you're using it?  I'll need it again tomorrow."

While she was sitting with the occupants of the household eating, there was a general flurry of excitement at 3 computers across Nerima.  The users were frantically writing down notes based on the advice given in the reply.  Each person had a large grin on their face, and were each sure this was going to be what they needed to succeed.

______________________________________________________________

Well, I figured if Akane is so clueless to Ryoga being P-Chan, there was no way she would have recognized anyone she knew if they were going by a different name.  She's pretty naive that way.  Read and review please!  Next story will be out whenever I can think of one.  Hopefully soon.


	4. Story Three Part One

Wow – I haven't put out a new story in my Missing Stories in a long time… So, figured I'd remedy that!

Disclaimer: Rumiko Takahashi is the owner and creator of all things Ranma. I have built a shrine to her.

A Work of Art – Martial Arts House Painting!

It was a normal day at the Tendo household. So far. Of course, that might have had something to do with the fact that it was 6:30 in the morning. The only one awake was Kasumi, who was already busy in the kitchen, preparing for the meals she would be making that day. With a spring in her step, she walked out to the back yard, heading for her little herb garden that she maintained, a pair of kitchen shears in her hand. Bending over, she quickly cut the herbs that she wanted.

She turned to head back inside. Suddenly frozen in place, Kasumi felt her hand release the freshly cut clippings, sending them tumbling to the ground, followed soon after by the dull thunk of the scissors hitting the black earth of the garden.

"Oh my…"

About 15 minutes later, the rest of the household was gathered outside in their nightwear. Groggily, they rubbed their eyes, staring at the spectacle in front of them. The pristine lines of the house were… well, no longer pristine. Now brilliantly adorned in neon splashes, the walls were covered in graffiti. One particularly large message caught Ranma's attention.

"Your dojo or your dignity." He read. "What is that supposed to mean?"

Soun burst into tears. "Oh no! Our beautiful home! Defaced in such a degrading manner! Who could do such a thing? And why? Why? Why????" He sunk to the ground, quickly creating a giant mud puddle with his waterworks.

"Oh Daddy, calm down." Nabiki looked calmly at the mess in front of her. "All we have to do is paint over this. Ranma, thank you for volunteering – you'll find paint and brushes in the shed." Without even waiting for his reaction, she headed back inside to get dressed.

"Hey! Wait a minute… I never volunteered!"

"That's my boy! Always one to help out in times of need – a true martial artist shows his integrity in moments of disaster." Genma smiled proudly at his son, while edging slowly towards the house. "Well, must be heading inside now – have fun!"

"Pops." Ranma growled. "What about you? Aren't you a true martial artist? Come on, old man, you're gonna help me whether you like it or not." Unfortunately, he was already speaking to thin air, as his father had already disappeared into the building. "Lazy old bum. Leaves me to do the dirty work, as usual."

Kasumi's sweet voice intruded into his thoughts of revenge against his father. "Thank you, Ranma. That's so kind of you to clean up. I'm sure Akane will be glad to help you with that, won't you, dear?" It was not so much a question as it was a statement.

Akane stopped short, her legs frozen in their path towards the door. "Fine, Kasumi. I'll help out." Then, pointedly towards Ranma, she continued. "But I'm not doing this as a favor to you, Ranma. I'm doing this because it's my family's house, and I don't want the neigborhood to think less of us."

Ranma looked startled. "A favor to me? What are you talking about? I had nothing to do with this! Geez! You don't even know anything about how this happened and you're already blaming me. Typical."

"Meet me back out here in 10 minutes. I'm going to get changed, I suggest you do the same." Akane headed off to her room.

Ranma grumbled as he went to his room. "Haven't even had breakfast yet. How's a guy supposed to have energy for painting when his stomach is empty." Looking longingly at the kitchen, he thought about seeing if Kasumi had anything ready that he could grab as a quick snack, but didn't get a chance, as Akane turned back to him from the top of the stairs.

"You know, the longer you take to get back out there, the longer it'll take."

"Well, thank you, Little Miss Obvious." Running quickly to his room, he threw on an old T-shirt and pants. Heading back outside, he went to the shed to get the paint. Pulling out a few cans, and some brushes, he got to work, joined soon after by Akane.

Not talking, the two teens concentrated on the task at hand. Working hard, it didn't take too long. Wiping their brows, Ranma and Akane cleaned the brushes and went inside the house.

"Come and eat, you two." Kasumi smiled at them. "I saved you some breakfast."

Ranma's stomach gurgled loudly as he sat down. Akane shot him a disgusted look, but didn't say anything, as she dove into the food as well.

The rest of the day was surprisingly uneventful.

The next morning however…

"Oh my…"

"So… does anyone else have a feeling of deja-vu?" Nabiki muttered sarcastically.

The rest of the household just stared at the newly decorated wall. This time, instead of the neon colors, it was adorned in vibrant hues of purple, green and blue.

"Cool. Looks like a giant bruise!"

"Ranma! It looks horrible! What kind of jerk graffiti's the same house two nights in a row?"

Ranma paused. "The same kind that writes that?" He pointed towards the wall.

Turning to look, the two families saw the newest message.

Roses are Red

Violets are Blue

Your house is a mess

But it'll soon be mine

"Well, we know one thing about this guy anyway. He's no poet."

5 pairs of eyes turned to Ranma and just looked.

"What??? It doesn't even rhyme!"

Akane sighed and brushing past Ranma, went to the shed to get the paint and brushes. Coming back, she slapped a brush into his hand.

Silently, they moved towards the house, already settling into the same pattern as the day before.

Later that morning, the two families gathered around the table. Nabiki took charge of the impromptu meeting.

"Okay. Here's the plan. We find out anything and everything we can about whoever's doing this. Kasumi, you continue to make dinner, but if you go to the market, keep your ears open for any gossip."

"Oh my. Gossiping is rather bad, isn't it?" Kasumi giggled. "But I suppose if it helps to keep our house looking nice." Humming, she got up and headed to the kitchen to make dinner.

"Yes. Okay then. Next – Daddy, you and Mr. Saotome go and talk to the other members of the neighborhood watch. For some reason they all respect you, so you should be able to find out if this is happening to anyone else." The subtle dig went un-noticed by the two men, who were pounding each other on the back, saying how yes, they were rather well-liked throughout the area, and wasn't it only natural, being two fit and fine specimens of martial artists like they were. Nabiki stared calmly and coldly at them, until clearing their throats, they announced their departure.

"What do you want us to do, Nabiki?" Akane asked seriously. Clenching her fists, she was ready for a fight! No one tried to make her family look like fools!

"You and Ranma go to bed."

"Nabiki!"

"Hey! No way am I sleeping with a tomboy like that!"

"Not until they're married." Came the soft voice from the kitchen.

"Oh for crying out loud. Did I say together? Get some sleep, you two, cause you're going to be standing watch tonight. But, now that I notice, you two were pretty quick to both think of sleeping in the same bed, weren't you…."

"Yeah. Going to bed now."

"Yawn. Boy, I'm beat. Yep, bed sounds good right now. Alone. Err, I don't mean us wanting to be left alone, I mean just me and Akane sleeping… Separately! In different rooms! Me in hers and … wait, that's not what I meant! I got confused! No! Urk."

"Baka." Akane muttered as she brushed off her mallet and headed upstairs.

Nabiki looked down at a prone Ranma. "Well, he's sleeping at least."

Evening came, and Ranma and Akane prepared to go out on the roof to keep an eye out for the vandal. Akane dressed carefully for their upcoming subterfuge. Dark clothing covered her from head to toe, and she brandished a baseball bat in one hand.

She caught Ranma eyeing her out of the corner of her eye. "What?"

"Well, doubt you're gonna need that bat – it's just some guy with a couple cans of spray paint after all."

"So? He might be a pervert, hanging around our house late at night like that. And plus, just because we're going to be sitting up on the roof just us two, doesn't mean you can try anything either. You'll be sorry if you do." Akane glared suspiciously at Ranma.

"Oh puleaze! Like I'd wanna try anything with you!" Ranma shot back at her. Was she ever going to cut him a break?

Akane humphed and stalked past him.

A few hours later, the two teens sat back to back on the roof, shivering slightly. The night air was brisk, and there was a slight wind coming up. Keeping their eyes peeled, they scanned their surroundings.

"Maybe he's given up. Don't look like he's gonna show." Ranma was bored. He had been hoping that he'd get a bit of exercise from this guy tonight. He shifted uncomfortably. Man, his butt was getting sore. Standing up suddenly, he stretched, not noticing that his sudden movement had knocked Akane off balance, as she had been subconsciously leaning against him.

"Jerk!" She said in a loud whisper from her undignified position.

Looking down at her, he saw what had happened. A hiccup of laughter managed to sneak out of his mouth before he covered it up with a cough. Pretending to clear his throat, he turned away so she wouldn't see his amusement. He wasn't laughing at her, he just thought it was kinda funny, but he doubted she'd see the same humor. A noise from below caught his ear, and his expression suddenly turned serious. Motioning at Akane to keep quiet, he snuck to the edge of the roof and peered slowly over.

Akane crept to Ranma's side and carefully looked down as well. They could see a shadowy figure slinking across the lawn heading to the nearest wall. As the person got closer, they could make out that he was carrying a spray can in each hand.

Ranma made a "stay here" gesture and quietly jumped to the ground.

Akane was furious. *Stay here, my ass!* She thought. Who did Ranma think he was anyway? She was just as good of a martial artist as him… well, okay, maybe not, but she certainly wasn't the weakling he seemed to think she was. If it hadn't been necessary to be as quiet as possible, she would have given him a piece or two of her mind. As quietly as she could, she too jumped down. Letting out a small oomph as she landed, she quickly looked around to see where Ranma had gone. Seeing him disappear around a corner of the house, she stealthily followed.

Meanwhile, Ranma was keeping close tabs on the so-called artist, who was approaching his usual target. Hearing the unmistakable rattle of the ball in a can of paint, his spy techniques were dropped and he leapt out into the open.

"Hey! What do ya think you're doing?" He called out aggressively.

The intruder whirled around with a startled cry. Reflexively, his hands came up, with his fingers poised on the sprayers.

Ranma yelped and dove out of the way of the paint spray. Rolling into an impromptu somersault, he sprang back to his feet. "Damn it! You could have got that in my eyes! What's your problem? And why are you painting graffiti on our house, huh?"

The young man standing near him laughed. "Come to defend your stronghold, are you? Not for long! No one stands fast for long once I have begun my mission of conquest!"

"What the…? Look pal, I don't know who you think you are, but let me tell you, no one makes Ranma Saotome back down – ever!"

"Tsk tsk. I'm disappointed. You mean to say you haven't heard of me yet? Well, let me remedy that for you. I'm Yutaka Ito, better known as the Picasso of the house-defacing world, of the School of Martial Modern Art! And I hear by stake my claim on this house and dojo."

Akane jumped out from behind the bush where she had been watching. "Stake your claim? On MY house? I don't think so, buster." She menacingly swung her bat.

Akane was suddenly surrounded by a blur of paint. When it settled, she gasped. Her bat was now painted to show the words "I swing like a girl", but amazingly there wasn't a drop of paint on her. She hadn't even seen the boy move!

Ranma was a bit surprised as well, but still managed to point out the obvious. "Umm… she is a girl. I mean, yeah, it's easy to make that mistake, being the macho chick she is and all…"

Akane decided that this would be an opportune time to demonstrate just how well girls could swing - and connect with a certain pig-tailed boy's head. Ranma landed facefirst on the ground, but quickly sat up, groaning and clutching the back of his head.

"Ouch! Whaddya have to go and do that for! Not like there aren't more pressing issues at the moment or nothin'." He motioned his head towards Yutaka.

Akane, realizing her attention was indeed focused on the wrong person, turned back towards the cretin who, using the distraction to his advantage, was quickly drawing a cubist rendition of Ranma's face at the moment that the bat had hit him. She would have appreciated his talent, if it had not been for the fact that his canvas was THEIR WALL! As she stalked towards him, he doodled a rather unflattering caricature of her. This only served to get her even angrier. Growling slightly, she picked up her pace until she was running straight towards him, the bat over her head.

Just as she was almost close enough to lay one on him, a blur darted in front of her, causing Akane to pull up to a sudden stop, or else run headlong into Ranma.

"Looks like someone's gonna have to take you down, Ito, and that someone is me, so get ready for a fight buddy." Ranma as usual had decided to take charge of the situation. "Akane, you stand over there, where you won't get hurt or nothin'."

Akane's jaw dropped. She couldn't believe it. Was he ever going to give her any credit at all? Fuming, she nevertheless did as he asked.

"Oh, so it's a fight you want, is it?" Yutaka laughed at Ranma. With a confident grin on his face, he grabbed a paintbrush and a spraypaint can and waited.

Ranma rushed forward, yelling out as he ran. "Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken!" He figured by using the Chestnut Fist technique, he could get this fight out of the way quickly. Faster than could be seen, his hands darted to and from the boy he was fighting.

Panting only slightly, he withdrew when he thought Ito had been through enough. His eyes opened wide when he realized Yutaka was still standing, a smirk evident on his face. What the…? He had made contact – he had felt it!

"I'm impressed Saotome. Not bad. But unfortunately, not good enough." Ito's gaze dropped down to Ranma's hands.

Akane let out a sharp gasp as she saw what Ito was referring to. Ranma's jaw dropped in horror as he lifted his hands.

Ranma had made contact all right – but not against flesh. What he had felt had been the paint brush held casually in Yutaka's hand. Ranma's fingernails were now beautifully painted with pretty little individual pictures on each nail. His hands were covered with painted rainbows and hearts. Delicately stenciled in between the drawings were sayings like "Ranma and Sailor Moon 4-ever!" and "I play with Barbies". The worst however, was the detailed portrait of Hello Kitty on his left palm.

"Aaagggh! Get it off! Get it off!" Ranma started frantically running around, waving his hands like a maniac, trying to shake off the cat.

Thinking fast, Akane grabbed the nearby garden hose and turned it on Ranma. Thankfully, the paint was water based and the offending feline picture faded into a messy blur.

A dripping wet, now female Ranma glared at the laughing artist. "Oh yeah? Bet you thought that was pretty funny, huh? Well, you ain't got the best of me!"

"Hmm. Well then, I look forward to our next confrontation then. Perhaps you'll provide me with a bit more of a challenge? Might as well just give up your dojo now."

"Next confrontation?" Ranma yelled. "We're finishing this now!"

Ito chuckled. "Sorry to disappoint, but have to run. So many things to paint, so little time. Ciao!" He leapt over their fence and quickly ran off into the fading night.

Ranma was stunned. He had been painted into defeat? What was that? Akane interrupted him from his reverie of gloom.

"A cartoon cat. Ranma, it was a picture of a cartoon cat. Really, have you got no control at all?" She stalked towards the house. She'd start cleaning up the mess out here in the morning.

Ranma followed after her, trying to justify himself. "Hey! Like I can help it! Not my fault anyway… stupid c… c… ca… furry animals. Who does that jerk think he is anyway? I'll show him! Yeah, next time I'll take him by surprise! I'll… umm…" Ranma's speech trailed off as he tried to think exactly what he would do the next time they met.

When they got in the house, they found Nabiki sitting on a chair waiting for them. Looking at Ranma, she started singing.

"Hello Ranma  
Play with us today  
We'll laugh and sing  
On this lovely sunny day"

She broke off singing and doubled over with laughter as Ranma stopped in his tracks.

"Shut up Nabiki." He growled.

She wiped a tear of mirth from her eye. "Go rest up, you two. We'll get working on plan B in the morning. We've managed to find a few scraps of information on this guy – I'll fill you in then." Sauntering away, Nabiki continued humming the catchy theme song lightly under her breath.

Ranma spun towards Akane, who was covering her mouth to hide her own amusement. "Nothin's funny! I'm gonna go take a bath." He paced away, muttering.

Akane went upstairs to her room. Nabiki was right. There was nothing more to do at the moment. Come morning, they'd get together a new plan of attack and defense. Falling onto her bed, she quickly fell asleep.

To be continued. 

Hmm… that was unexpected - this turned out to be a longer story than I had planned. A bit too long to have it all in one chapter. It'll just be a two-parter though. Stay tuned for Part Two, coming soon! Read and Review please!


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